bumblealsie

Valentine

2011-02-14T11:40:00.000-08:00

A HUGE thanks to MIMI for my lovely card. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The missing poo

2010-10-08T22:23:00.000-07:00

I take no credit for this story. It involves a teacher and a primary 1 school child.
Child has been excused from class to go to the toilet. Just as the teacher is ready to lodge a cause for concern due to the length of absence, he appears at the classroom door. He is looking rather upset so teacher asks him what is wrong. He explains that he has lost his poo. Teacher is rather puzzled and asks some more. He said that he did his poo but when he went to flush it was gone. Nowhere to be seen. Teachers first thought was it must have been a ton weight and had just shot straight down the bend. Nope how wrong was she. There it was, sticking out the top of his trouser turn up.

Annoying adverts

2010-08-26T06:28:00.000-07:00

July and August in Scotland can be spent in rain or indoors glued to a TV!!Lets out dreadful adverts starting with those ponsy twats from Pimms and halifax!!If the advert does not feature Penny Cruz forget it

Tip for the Top

2010-08-10T12:20:00.000-07:00

Try and listen to Hurts a new band

Special Day

2010-05-12T12:54:00.001-07:00

I would love to thank everyone for their cards and gifts!!!Finally got to see Kiss live on my actual birthday!!!Awesome!!!Enjoyed all my lunches and my time off work

Crafty Tip No 13

2010-04-29T13:03:00.000-07:00

If you cannot get your oven shelves into your sink, try putting them in the bath and soak overnight using Bio powder!!! so much cleaner and easier!!!

Crafty Tip No 12

2010-04-28T09:39:00.000-07:00

If cats are doing your garden no good, try using this idea
Nail smooth edge(carpet grip) to the top of your fence and paint it the same colour
Cats love doing a tightrope act along fences, well watch them do it along this!!!!

Save the trees, Eat beaver

2010-03-11T12:00:00.000-08:00

Crafty Tip No 11

2010-01-11T03:58:00.000-08:00

Given this advise by a cat lover. We couldn't get salt to clear the driveway for days resulting in the car sliding nearer and nearer the wall every time it was moved. Someone said cat litter would help. Well done, it did help the car get a better grip and as a result I sprayed the litter all the way up the driveway. Next day the grip was great and the ice had been replaced by piles of cat poo. Any idea how I can get 14 cats out of my garden? The dog is going nuts.

Tasty homemade pasty

2010-01-08T08:28:00.000-08:00

Use Jus-Rol puff pastry ready to roll sheets. 1 sheet makes 2 pasties. Cut the sheet in 2 and bast it with a beaten egg. You can then put in your choice of filling, I used chopped ham and a tin of creamy chicken from Marks. Also tried cheese,ham and onion. Fold over and seal the edges before dabbing with milk and pop into the oven at 200 for about 23 minutes. Let me know how you get on and let me know what filling you used.

2010 resolutions

2010-01-05T02:35:00.000-08:00

Post yours here and you can then tell me when you break them.

Fav Christmas gift or memory.

2009-12-14T08:18:00.000-08:00

Come on, my best gift as a child was Pro Shot Golf and recently my Ted Baker coat.

Warning to Yummy Mummys

2009-12-09T02:25:00.000-08:00

This was passed to me by a rather sad friend who has a thing for attractive young mothers. He parks his car near the parent and child spaces and just sits there watching for the Yummys to come and go. Yes he likes to watch them getting into a fankle getting the kids out the car. So please watch how you bend. You seem to display too much cleavage and butt. Ali sounds like a yummy mummy, so watch what you do with your little dragons. There must be Yummy Mummy watchers all over.

Artists seen live

2009-11-11T13:59:00.000-08:00

Queen,AC/DC,Bill Nelson,Dr Feelgood,Boomtown Rats,Rush,The Nolans,Tubes,Lene Lovich,Gary Numan,OMD,Erasure,Pet Shop Boys,Michael Jackson,Joe Jackson,The Enemy,White Lies,The Airborne Toxic Event,David Cassidy,U2,Martin's Room,The Rezillos,Donnie Munro,Dommin,Nazareth,Sound of Guns,Blackberry Jack,Airbourne,Black Spiders,Tubes,KISS,Hurts,Clare Maguire,MOPP,Bright Light Bright Light

Naff Gifts

2009-10-27T03:25:00.000-07:00

The worst gift is normally flowers from a petrol station. Let me know of anything worse than this. My DW narks back to when I bought her a golf club for our 10th wedding ani. No she doesn't play golf.

Claim to Fame

2009-09-23T12:51:00.000-07:00

Have you rubbed shoulders with a Celeb?
Tell me the full story.

Crafty Tip No10

2009-08-31T12:03:00.000-07:00

This one is for singles looking for a cheap meal out. Go to a pub doing 2 for 1 meals and hang around until you see an odd number of people looking to dine. Tell them that you would like to join them to order only and you will then go your own way. Make sure to complete your meal at the same time or just leave them your share of the meal which will be half price. This way you dont even have to leave a tip.
This was supplied by The only G in the village.

Lookalikes

2009-07-26T11:39:00.000-07:00

Name some lookalikes from work that we can all relate to.
Anon of course due to our values.
I will give one for starters.
I think Pauline looks like 13 from House.

Blasts from the past.

2009-07-26T11:32:00.001-07:00

I am looking for your fav things from the past that are no longer available. Things like Royal Scot biscuits, Aztec Bars, Cremola Foam etc.

Vacations to forget

2009-05-01T11:41:00.000-07:00

I would like to hear from you with your stories of either a bad or funny holiday moment.
Things like being swung by your hook into the rigging of tall ship or being held up at gunpoint in a foreign land.

Worthwhile time spent on the Eve.

2008-12-26T11:30:00.000-08:00

I was given the job of getting the family turkey this year. I refused to pay £70 for a Kelly bronze and set my goal on a half price Sainsbury special. I arrived ready for the half price event which was scheduled to start any time after 14:00. I even risked turning up at 14:20.
No sign of reductions but I had spotted the turkey I was after, A black Norfolk organic beast ready to do 9. £50 tag on its heafty breast.
In and out of the shop I went for another 90 minutes, leaving my flu ridden son sleeping in the car. Its okay he is 18.
What a thrill when at 15:42 the turkey stickers came out. I bussled my way to the chilled section and stood guard over my turkey and waited for it to be reduced.
And waited, the guy was reducing them in order, right to left and couldn't reduce any held by a customer. I had to move it up in the cabinet nearer the guy so he would get to it quicker.
Finally it was reduced to £24.52.
What a feast we had and a lovely relaxing enjoyable day. Hope you all had a good time as well.
All the best in 2009 for all my blogland buddies and keep those fingers crafty.

Crafty Tip No 9

2008-12-05T12:36:00.000-08:00

I got this from Rock Radio 96.3.
With Christmas coming up, cut the cost with cheaper wrapping paper.
Use old birthday paper and just change the Happy Birthday to
Happy Birthday Jesus.
Let me know if you even use wrapping paper because some areas in Scotland
just have the presents unwrapped.

Crafty Tip No 8

2008-11-10T08:26:00.000-08:00

Do not try to make a crafty card without the correct tools. I have been studying real crafters like Buttons, Tigger and even Evil Edna for inspiration before I attempted making my 1st card.
I planned my design and it looked great (in my head).
I used all the correct materials like blog candy, buttons and pastilles.
However the actual putting the card together with the gentle use of glue went badly wrong. I forgot it was my hands that had to complete this task.
Yes the buttons kept falling off. Yes I forgot they had glue on them when I ate the dropped ones and yes I can still taste the glue. It was washable glue but it doesn't wash off your tongue.
Anyway here it is. It is called "Where did winter go?... this is a global warning"
Oh and it fell over.

Netball for pretty girls?

2008-10-22T11:11:00.000-07:00

I would be interested in your thoughts on a theory put by L from Strathaven. Remember she had troubled childhood.
Her point is that pretty girls played attacking positions in netball where the ugly girls played defence.
Lisa was goal defence.
She thinks only butch girls and young farmers played hockey.

Benched with the Bugsies

2008-10-22T10:57:00.000-07:00

This is a new feature which will enable you to share any childhood experiences that may have caused you distress to this day.
I will start with a story from L from Strathaven.
L was 5ft 9 at age 11 and stick thin. It was the school dance and the boys choice. L was not picked to dance and was left on the sidelines with the bugsy girls. Even worse to follow when she had to dance with the bugsies.

Just a funny story

2008-10-05T11:42:00.000-07:00

I was hanging about the local horsey shop one Saturday lunchtime when the kids karate class came out.
To get to safety they had to pass the alley of drunks, which takes you past the already mentioned horsey shop and the pub.
Three kids aged about 9 were passing the pub when they attracted the attention of a boozer having a crafty fag on the step outside the pub. He was already guttered and had the wall for support.
He shouted out to the kids "Oi ninja munchkins, what did you learn today?"
They stopped to answer and were each rubbed on the head with the comment of "look 2 ginga ninjas"
He then did some drunken ninja moves and repeated "go on show me what you learned then"
At that moment he jumped off the step, ninja style just as one of the munchkins did a karate kick towards him.
He was caught direct in the billy bollocks and hit the ground with a dull thud.
You could then hear a shout from inside the pub of "Quick, Stevie's been decked"
2 guys rushed to the door only to find Stevie lying face first on the ground with 3 munchkins standing over his crumpled body.

Lisas' Strathaven Stovies

2008-09-23T11:21:00.000-07:00

square sliced sausage cut into small bitesize pieces
onions chopped finely (lots)
Potatoes cut into small pieces
fry onion and sausage to release fat, add potatoes wnd plenty salt and pepper and cover with water. simmer away till potatoes break down - leave for 5-10 minutes then enjoy!!

Crafty Tip No7

2008-09-06T08:47:00.000-07:00

This is if you want a bit of fun with people who dye their hair. In the supermarket find the hair dye boxes that are easy to open and try swopping the contents of a few boxes. The ones with a cream based applicant are best to swop. Try swopping a ginger with a blonde for example.
My thanks to Frances for this crafty plan.
Check out her hair. It has also made me think, is my fav really a blonde?

Crafty Tip No 6

2008-08-09T10:23:00.000-07:00

This one was sent in by the one and only G in The Village.
Save money by going out for a meal to an "eat all you can buffet"
Also get your timing correct.
Don't eat any snacks before you go.
Don't gas yourself up with fizzy drinks.
Get a large free jug of water for your table and sip don't gulp.
Check for special "happy hours" when the buffet could be anything up to £1.00 cheaper.
If you do get this chance, check when you have to vacate your table.
G got it wrong and had to pay the extra £1.00 for a companion who could not chew and swallow the last bit of chewy meat before the time was up. Luckily G and the other companion left the table with a minute to spare and were charged the cheaper price.

Crafty Tip No 5

2008-08-03T01:09:00.000-07:00

Keeping the colour in your clothing

I was told that if you wish to do this, try putting your colours into your washing machine inside out. Then iron the clothing inside out.
This came from a source who has been a bit unreliable recently so I put it to the test myself.
Decided not to waste the good clobber so I just did it with me smalls.
My lummy pink Teds came out fine so on with the ironing.
5 seconds later they were done. Hot and crispy, so on they went.
Wow what a colour with the added bonus of not needing to use the GHDs.

Crafty Tip No 4

2008-07-20T04:36:00.000-07:00

I have heard a good way of helping with a headache is to stub your toe.
The pain from the toe stubbing seems to clear the pain from your head.
By the time you wait in A&E you will have forgotten about the headache.
If not, you tend to get free pain medication from the hospital anyway.

Crafty Tip No3

2008-07-17T12:44:00.000-07:00

According to a source in work, if you have old 2nd class stamps that are well past their sell by date, you can still use them.
Trying sticking 2 stamps on your envelope and your item will be delivered twice as quick.

AGONY ALSIE

2008-07-15T10:44:00.000-07:00

Welcome to my new post which has been created to help anyone with problems.
If you wish to post your problem I will respond within 24 hours giving you guidance from my emotional bank of knowledge.

Crafty Tip No.2

2008-07-10T11:34:00.000-07:00

You have a spare bottle of wine given to you as a present. You don't drink wine and are too tight to give it away.
Wait until you need to chip in for a work mates' birthday and offer the wine as a present.
Suggest the wine cost say £8.00 and since you only needed to chip in £2.00, ask for the £6.00 difference back from the birhday collection.

2008-07-05T11:17:00.000-07:00

Crafty Tip No1

2008-07-03T14:11:00.000-07:00

If you have an article of clothing you wish to return to the store, try to do so within the year and keep the receipt. If you are unable to do this, try poking some holes in the material in the shape of a crop circle. You dont really get asked any questions.

Good luck consumers.

2008-06-22T01:51:00.000-07:00

Okay just joined this so I could blog others. I do hope you like the photos.