Valentine

A HUGE thanks to MIMI for my lovely card. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The missing poo

I take no credit for this story. It involves a teacher and a primary 1 school child.
Child has been excused from class to go to the toilet. Just as the teacher is ready to lodge a cause for concern due to the length of absence, he appears at the classroom door. He is looking rather upset so teacher asks him what is wrong. He explains that he has lost his poo. Teacher is rather puzzled and asks some more. He said that he did his poo but when he went to flush it was gone. Nowhere to be seen. Teachers first thought was it must have been a ton weight and had just shot straight down the bend. Nope how wrong was she. There it was, sticking out the top of his trouser turn up.

Annoying adverts

July and August in Scotland can be spent in rain or indoors glued to a TV!!Lets out dreadful adverts starting with those ponsy twats from Pimms and halifax!!If the advert does not feature Penny Cruz forget it

Tip for the Top

Try and listen to Hurts a new band

Special Day

I would love to thank everyone for their cards and gifts!!!Finally got to see Kiss live on my actual birthday!!!Awesome!!!Enjoyed all my lunches and my time off work

Crafty Tip No 13

If you cannot get your oven shelves into your sink, try putting them in the bath and soak overnight using Bio powder!!! so much cleaner and easier!!!

Crafty Tip No 12

If cats are doing your garden no good, try using this idea
Nail smooth edge(carpet grip) to the top of your fence and paint it the same colour
Cats love doing a tightrope act along fences, well watch them do it along this!!!!

Save the trees, Eat beaver

Crafty Tip No 11

Given this advise by a cat lover. We couldn't get salt to clear the driveway for days resulting in the car sliding nearer and nearer the wall every time it was moved. Someone said cat litter would help. Well done, it did help the car get a better grip and as a result I sprayed the litter all the way up the driveway. Next day the grip was great and the ice had been replaced by piles of cat poo. Any idea how I can get 14 cats out of my garden? The dog is going nuts.

Tasty homemade pasty

Use Jus-Rol puff pastry ready to roll sheets. 1 sheet makes 2 pasties. Cut the sheet in 2 and bast it with a beaten egg. You can then put in your choice of filling, I used chopped ham and a tin of creamy chicken from Marks. Also tried cheese,ham and onion. Fold over and seal the edges before dabbing with milk and pop into the oven at 200 for about 23 minutes. Let me know how you get on and let me know what filling you used.

2010 resolutions

Post yours here and you can then tell me when you break them.

Fav Christmas gift or memory.

Come on, my best gift as a child was Pro Shot Golf and recently my Ted Baker coat.

Warning to Yummy Mummys

This was passed to me by a rather sad friend who has a thing for attractive young mothers. He parks his car near the parent and child spaces and just sits there watching for the Yummys to come and go. Yes he likes to watch them getting into a fankle getting the kids out the car. So please watch how you bend. You seem to display too much cleavage and butt. Ali sounds like a yummy mummy, so watch what you do with your little dragons. There must be Yummy Mummy watchers all over.

Artists seen live

Queen,AC/DC,Bill Nelson,Dr Feelgood,Boomtown Rats,Rush,The Nolans,Tubes,Lene Lovich,Gary Numan,OMD,Erasure,Pet Shop Boys,Michael Jackson,Joe Jackson,The Enemy,White Lies,The Airborne Toxic Event,David Cassidy,U2,Martin's Room,The Rezillos,Donnie Munro,Dommin,Nazareth,Sound of Guns,Blackberry Jack,Airbourne,Black Spiders,Tubes,KISS,Hurts,Clare Maguire,MOPP,Bright Light Bright Light

Naff Gifts

The worst gift is normally flowers from a petrol station. Let me know of anything worse than this. My DW narks back to when I bought her a golf club for our 10th wedding ani. No she doesn't play golf.

Claim to Fame

Have you rubbed shoulders with a Celeb?
Tell me the full story.