Welcome to my new post which has been created to help anyone with problems.
If you wish to post your problem I will respond within 24 hours giving you guidance from my emotional bank of knowledge.
About Me
- bumblealsie
- EK, South Lanarkshire, United Kingdom
- I am just a T### from EK,Scotland. Interested in most sports. Like to take photos of scenery in Scotland. Well they tend to be of golf courses, mostly ones on which I haven't even played.Would love to move to Florida. Don't listen to anything buttonsforbrains has to say on Florida though. I feel that working with so many oddities over the years has given me the knowledge to assist those with any work or domestic problem. With this in mind please look at the July archive and check out problems solved by myself. I try to laugh about life and what life can throw up. Just enjoy the blog for what it can offer you. Hopefully it can give you a laugh. I hope I dont upset anyone plus some of the stories may be slightly untrue. Since joining blogland I have also discovered a talented group of crafty girls. Listen to my music links and enjoy my varied taste.
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30 comments:
Dear Uncle Alsie,
The hotel opposite my work has a huge banner outside advertising Christmas. I have to pass every day and it is making me depressed, it is only July for goodness sake! Can you do something about this?
Thanks you.
How can I have a rerr terr at the ferr!
Lucky enough I can help with both questions.
The hotel may well do a Ferr turkey and tinsel buffet.
This will help you partake in the xmas spirit 5 months early and look forward to a having the Ferr in December.
I believe in looking out of the box. This way you can enjoy all seasons at any time of the year.
I can also recommend the Festival of the sea on the Clydeside on 20/7 when it will be sunny.
I believe there will be "crafts" to suit everyone.
Enjoy and happy christmas.
Wow what excellent help. Have you had training to do this and if so where did you get it?
I look forward to hearing other problems and the casual way you treat them.
Des
Madrid.
I detect a hint of sarcasm from old Des. He does not realise how much your advice helps. In fact it has helped me so much I have an award for you. See my blog.
Hi, I have a problem with my sister.
She is costing me a fortune in internet cables.
£10 a go every time she trips over oor cable.
She never offers to pay.
What can I do?
E
Blantyre
Dear E,
The internet is a serious tool which should not be treated carelessly.
There is a new wire free service provided by Egg and is a prepay gimic with different useage options.
You get a wind up connection as the basic starter pack for free.
You then buy time per month.
What you do is for example buy an Egg timer for say £5 per month and you then wind up £5 worth of useage. The Egg timer then starts working and the sands of time empty into the wide world web.
Once the Egg timer is empty you can no longer connect until you purchase more wind up time.
Word of warning though the maximum timer is the size of a surf board and costs £50 per month.
It is very relaxing booking your DOD tickets and watching the time just drift away.
Keep your sister away from the wind up mechanism as it needs a gentle touch.
Good luck.
Fantastic idea. I do however no longer need to worry about the cable. Oor sis has left the building. She was not happy with me being unable to talk to her about my problem and has packed up and left.
My mate trigger is thinking of moving in so I'm sure the cable will come in handy soon.
E
xxx
You are my last hope. I was exercising in my garden last week and managed to lose control of my nunchuck over my garden hedge. I think my hands were a bit too waxy.
It was late on in the evening so I was able to pop over ninja style to retrieve them.
Horror struck me when I was faced with the next door cat nunchucked to death. It was only a little kitty which they only had for a few weeks.
In my haste I unchucked my nuns from the pussy and took them both to my local forest.
I buried the deceased and chucked my nuns in the pond.
Should I own up or keep Mum?
T
the secret ninja
I feel I need to address 2 issues here. Firstly their is no need to even start thinking about getting rid of your dear mother. It is so easy to blame parents for all the world's problems.
Secondly get your hands back on your chucks. You sound as if your have had plenty of experience playing with them.
I have posted a photo of pretty nuns to get you back in the mood.
Thanks I invested in a couple of new nuns and am back swinging again.
T the secret ninja
I think one of my work chums has been a bit evasive since I made a wee mistake and gently rubbed her arm one day. I then smiled in a weird way when she got ever so wet one day. Since I am just slightly older than her, should I feel bad that she has called me a dirty old man?
A,
In hiding
She may be one of those girls who are too attractive to flirt with. Lower your aim and touch some ugly girls instead.
You were correct. No girls are ugly, they just need to be touched. Some more than others and I feel as if I make their days worthwhile.
Thanks again. The evasive work chum touched me the other day but I still think I will be safer touching others instead. There are a few untouched ones on my radar.
I dont know if you can help with a medical problem. I have grown a 3 headed boil on my bot. What is the best method to rid my bot of the boil?
A
LOCAL
Handy that I was blogging when this came through. I will give you 2 options, the 1st my safe option and the 2nd an option adopted in the past by Buttons.
1/ Have a long bath or shower taking time to cleanse the boil area. Oh you will need a friend. Cut a dressing pad slightly larger than the boil. Carefully spread some magnesium sulphate paste onto the pad and place on the boil. I use micropore tape to seal the pad to the bot. This is easier to rip off. The gunge is sucked out onto the pad and the boil is gone in a couple of days.
2/ The quick method still requires a friend. Prick the head with a sterile needle but do not squeeze. Suck the gunge but do not swallow. Result is the boil is gone imediately.
The choice is yours.
Result. The boil has gone. Thanks Buttons. Funny thing is my Mum has now got a throat infection. Must have swallowed.
I am a golf lover and nearing retirement. Hate my work and just want to golf.
Should I stick out work longer or retire early to take up golf quicker?
I know that I will improve the more I play and I have all the gear waiting to be let loose on the links.
Your photos of the golf courses has put me in the mood even more.
Please help I am admiring my wood as I type this.
T
Turnberry.
Tough decision and I have taken a couple of days to reflect.
Sorry but I have to suggest you work on.
Try cutting your hours and use the extra time to get in 9 holes or hit some balls at the range.
Keep your clubs with you at all times, you just never know when you will be able to get your wood out.
If you feel the urge during the day just get it out and give it a swing.
I know it makes me feel better especially if I get the stroke correct.
Let me know how you get on.
I have read with interest your golfing advice. So perhaps you could tell me which go further, balls with big dimples or balls with small dimples.
L,the field.
I think you are not giving the sport of golf the respect it deserves.
Ball nowadays come in various sized dimples.
I like to use multi sized hexagonal dimples. They have a longer flight and are easier to keep clean.
Ladies balls tend to be colourful with the dimples all the same size.Some men like to use lady balls but that is another story.
The seating arrangements at work are changing. This is not to my liking and displeases me greatly. What can I do?
Perplexed.
There are a few choices,,,,
# Complain you are getting on in age and need to be closer to the facilities.
# Start touching a team mate and you will get moved very far away.
# Say you hear noises from above and you will be moved before the roof falls in.
# Just cry and cry and cry.
Good luck, one of these works for me.
For a great many years now I have collected the fluff from my belly button in a jam jar. I cannot stop nor bring myself to throw it out. Can you suggest what I might do with it?
Great news. I secretly take mine to the Make a Bear shop and sneak it into my bear in the stuffing process. Stuff this putting a heart into the bear. I'd rather have something of mine poked into it.
My friend and I fancy the arse off a work mate. He is in his 60s and lives alone but has a few nasty habits. Too nasty to mention here.
Should we be looking at the whole package?
C & K
Well at that age you shouldn't really be looking at his package. I have just heard that he washes that area using boiling water from a kettle. Maybe that's why you think he has a hot bot.
Anyway I was told the one they call Trigger has lovely long legs. Okay one is longer than the other. Check him out, he is nearer your age plus the TG has pretty eyes and is very close to your age.
An update on your help. It has been over a year now since you helped m get rid of oor sis and even better news Trigger did not move in. He could not find a comfy chair in the whole house. I have been on many an adventure and feel like a new woman. Oh God bless you Agony Alsie. I will spread the word.
Oor Lane.
I knew oor Lane was not for me when I had to attend camera class on my own. In fact your advise helped me too. I think she holds a candle for another. I have my good eye on a hot chick in work and plan to make my move soon. Due to my gamminess it may take a while.
T
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